As I was building these rock sculptures... or rather, trying to get the rocks to stay on top of each other, I became increasingly aware of how self conscious I felt. People jogging by would hush their conversation as they passed, and I wondered what they were thinking and for those running alone, I wondered if they even noticed the person playing in the rocks. As my self-consciousness increased, the rocks tumbled defiantly down. Then, I heard a voice ...
"What are you doing there?"
"Uh, trying to balance the rocks to build a sculpture"
"Why are you doing that?"
"I enjoy it- it's fun finding the rhythm of the rocks"
"Isn't it just a waste of time. It'll blow over by sunset in this wind."
"Probably, but will you go out tonight and drink a few beers?"
"The buzz will wear off by morning, but you had fun getting it, right?"
I had been just about ready to call it a day, but my stubbornness beckoned me to persist, maybe even a kind of pride. I struggled with the rocks exerting the force of my will on their geometry. As I became more at ease with what I was doing, I was able to be curious about the rocks- what angle and weight distribution will allow this rock to be stable? I listened for their rhythm and then, the rocks settled- fitting together as if by magic, though mostly the magic of sheer tenacity.
Doing something that one is passionate about it such fun, we grow through all our layers of insecurity because people will say ... "what are you doing?", "you are crazy!", "don't do that", "it's a waste of time" ... and even once you get past "the naysayers," it won't be easy... you will have to overcome your own doubt, struggles, questioning about your decisions... and the conditions may lead you to adapt the vision, to modify the project, to abort... Yesterday, I persisted until I had three small sculptures, they were shorter than I like but with determination, tenacity and curiosity, I found the harmony among them.
I took three things home from my rock building yesterday...
- Things that appear impossible can be realized with perseverance.
- There are times, when it is not the right moment, and we must have the courage and insight to adapt, modify, abort.
- Things that seem unstable can have real stability when properly aligned.