Ideas that Impact

Mind the Gaps 2nd Edition

20/4/2016

We are thrilled to share our recently revised Mind the Gaps paper. Please let us know if you have questions and feedback in the comments!

Many thanks to Rosamond Dunn for her visual design work on the 2nd Edition.

Mind the Gaps for Inclusive Innovation 2nd Edition from Kate Michi Ettinger

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Participatory Board Practices

17/3/2015

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Serving on the Board for an organization can be an enriching experience. One Board on which I serve is experimenting with these four participatory practices:

Rotating Facilitator:
We all bring different styles and skills to the board. In order to learn from each other and to expand our skills, we decided to rotate the facilitation of our board meetings. If you are in the hot seat as facilitator, check out these mentoring tips on Art of Animating.

With our small board (5), we opted for 3 meetings per person in order to have consistency while not making the role of facilitation too burdensome. A larger board might rotate among its officers.
Participatory Agenda Setting
Traditionally, one person prepares the agenda for the meeting. We have adopted a practice of participatory agenda setting. One week before the meeting, the facilitator invites all members of the board to add items to the agenda. We use a private Google document, which allows everyone access to modify the agenda with real time updates. A board member signs their name, indicates the topic, the amount of time needed, and (as needed) shares a link to any material to be reviewed in advance. The Friday before our meeting, the Agenda is “locked” and sent to all board members to review in advance of the meeting. (We meet via remote conference call so this message includes our meeting call details).
Meeting Notes/Minutes
During our meetings, we use a shared Google document to take notes. We usually have two or three Board members contributing to note taking on the shared document. This allows everyone to participate in the discussion, because when someone jumps in to speak other people pick up the note taking. At the end of the meeting, we have a record of the meeting from which minutes can be easily drafted.
Working Groups “Standing” Status Reports
We are a working board. We do most of our work between meetings in working groups, aka committees. We found that reports from the working groups were consuming our meeting, so we adopted a simple practice of “standing up” updates. Each working group gives a 2 minute update (timed by an alarm) to share wins/fails and/or next steps. These short reports work best when everyone stands during this part of the meeting. Standing keeps people sensitive to being long winded and supports the staccato pace of this part of the meeting.

If a working group would like to have the input of the full board on a thorny issue or a decision, then the working group signs up on the agenda for an extended time slot (5-20 min). As appropriate to the matter, the working group may prepare a document to brief the full board on the issue(s) in advance.

Our main goal is to maximize the productivity of our time together and to make our meetings as participatory and dynamically engaging as possible. I am eager to hear what you learn if your board experiments with these practices.

Board members bring diverse professional experiences to this service that often contribute new ways of working together. What best practices have you encountered?

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2014: A Magical Year

15/1/2015

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As part of the transition to the New Year, I review my calendar and write a letter of memorable moments from the past year. I crafted this year's review from my 2014 benediction. If you received an email from me last year, you may have noticed the 2014 benediction in my signature. What better way to review the year than through the lens of that wish.

A year to touch the truths found in life,

There are blue skies above the clouds

Magical Mozfest London

The sun will rise tomorrow

Step with peace in our hearts,

"Peace- it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all that and still be calm in your heart." - unknown

with Dagmar Quentin, my sister of the heart in Berlin

by brilliantly talented artist and educator Brett Cook

From middle east crises to grave injustices in the US, peace in oneself was more needed than ever

Show up with the courage to expand our limits,

Utopias: Lost and Found from Kate Ettinger on Vimeo.

Creative collaboratorKyle Stewart and I cocreated a participatory art installation: Utopias: Lost and Found (see time lapse on the left) and a storytelling booth: Make Your Mark, Share a Vision, Start a Revolution at the Visionaries & Revolutionaries Day organized by the brilliant Bobby Fishkin alongside the Dissident Futures Exhibit at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts.

From improv classes at The Groundlings and Upright Citizen's Brigade (UCB) to performing on the UCB stage in LA for graduation... creativity was stretched!

Play in nature

Muir Woods, Photo by Steph Denamps

Chrissy Field stroll when he caught the moon for me - photo by Kevin Kelly

Nick's Fire

Greet strangers with the warmth of old friends

Take digital sabbaticals

3 days off the grid in Craobh Haven on the west coast of Scotland

View Horse Riding at Lunga Estates, Craobh Haven, Scotland

Hiking on the West Coast of Scotland in Argyll & Bute (lost around Lochgilphead)

Building a do-it-yourself (DIY) single lens reflex (SLR) camera (ace gift for all ages!)

Share vulnerability to deepen trust

Storytelling for Change Team: Make Change Make Sense

Show grace in moments of life as it is

Last Spring, I took on an interim position as full time co-parent, Tante Kate, for these two little loves... children are life's greatest teachers. Twas a humbling and love-filled 3 month stint!

An inconsolable 2 1/2 year old

A DIY Solar Plane/Boat Kit (for 10 yr olds) - Made by a determined 7 yr old & me

who would not move til mom came home

Sometimes thinking in the box can be fun!

After 3 months, we were OK without Mom.

Crisis over, time to leave

Discover magic in the ordinary folds of daily living

Explore the backstory of every day objects

Read about our adventure with this camera's film!

Bird's Eye View & Accidental Intimacies- travel meditation

Make a toast with every sip!

Celebrating with my 99 year old grandmother, I noticed she made a toast with each sip of wine, why not?!

I had a puzzling moment while traveling until I realized that automatic technology had outdone itself!

First Selfie with Aunt Ess (96 yr young)

Getting the hang, 2nd Selfie August

She's a pro now! December

Invite surprises

Master craftsman of picture framing, Harry Kurata of Yoshida Framing (San Francisco) with whom I apprenticed several years ago delighted me with this frame for my calligraphy by Thich Nhat Hanh!

live in truth, live in love, live in joy, smile

This winter, I brought a whisky, "Santa's Christmas Stocking" from Scotland to taste with friends. When I visited Harry, he brought out a Japanese whisky. It was the perfect heritage whisky tasting for this Hafu (half Japanese, half Scottish)

The ultimate surprise of the year came from creative genius and dear friend, Leigh McCarthy who lent me her Brooklyn flat for 3 weeks over my birthday. A gift that reignited my love affair with NYC, reconnected me with treasured old friends and brought me back to my first love- the theater... thank you Leigh- you are a creative inspiration & beautiful human!

2014 was an unexpectedly peripatetic year that lead me to the homes of family, friends & a few strangers-- thanks to all the people who hosted me this year-- Thank you! Merci! Danke! Gracias!

Make time for people not phones, Spend time with old friends

Embrace differences to claim the strengths of wholeness

Lead with love

One of the challenges of leaving the hospital setting to do work for systems level change is feeling very removed from tangible impact. In doing this review, I am reminded that perhaps, the greatest impact we can have is how we show up in everyday moments- from taking a minute to learn about the person who makes your coffee to creating space to discover the joy in unexpected moments.

Some of the most important and underappreciated ways of changing the world include tending to a crying child and making time to visit people who nurtured you when you were a crying child. t is our relationships that make us human. It is our relationships that make us human. I am inspired by the passion, joy, love, humanness and grace that my colleagues and friends share with life.

Presenting OpenQRS at UNESCO's Tech4Dev

All things "open source" panel UNESCO Tech4Dev Lausanne

UNESCO Tech4Dev Lausanne

8-i Team for 826 National: Lindsay Bourne, Kinnari Desai, Chris Geraghty, Mansi Kakkar, Erin Beitel, Jay Standish, Gerald Richards, Kate

Flourish in all that is yet to be.

A collage of moments from the year's unfolding. Missing many delight-filled memories for which I have heart pictures: Momofuku with LD, Frozen Lady with Tony & Shannon, Mike & Nat in London, seeing Liz in lalaland, late nights with Belle & G, vicarious visit to Botswana with Bette & Chris, the @CDEgger nudge, an unprecedented pastry party thanks to Megan, and more from a camera glitch... you know who you are!

Thanks to all for weaving into the tapestry of my memories this year!

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What's your question?

7/1/2015

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What's your question? You know the first question that you ask someone when you meet/greet them. In Australia, it's "how you going?" In the US, it's usually "how are you?" Though in San Francisco these days, it is more likely: "how's your start up?" I like to ask "what surprised you today?" People have to stop and think and it starts a different conversation- try it!

In the middle of last year, I noticed something new. When I spoke to colleagues and friends by phone, skype or email, their first question was "Where are you now?" This question shift was unexpected, because I have been on the move for the last couple of years as an ecosystem diplomat and for OpenQRS. Yet something about that movement shifted last year.

So, I took time to reflect on where I had been in 2014. I had the great fortune to work with and visit colleagues, family, friends and friends who are like family in 21 cities across 7 countries. I clocked in with 88 days in San Francisco, sometimes referred to as home; 50 of those were before March 1 and 5 of the remainder were spent on jury duty.

It seems in hindsight that 'no rest for the weary' was the theme of 2014, I averaged 1 week in a place and spent almost 1/7 of the year going to/from somewhere. I was in transit for > 280 hours! That is 7 weeks of 40 hour work weeks in transit by plane, train or car. And that doesn't include walking and commutes with Metro, Tube, Subway, UBahn, BART!

This exercise prompted me to reflect on the cost of transit time. Transit is not all a loss of work time. Long flights remain one of my favorite places to get work done-- though airplane mode laser focus is increasingly threatened by wifi accessible flights.

The question is prompted was: If I spend time this much time in transit, what do I not have time for as a result? There are lots of ways that we lose time: facebook, abyss of discovering cool things we didn't know about before on internet, driving, TV, commutes, games, etc. We can bring attention to these pockets of lost/hidden time. My friend Jan Stewart tweets #deepdive then meditates on her tram ride to/from work- an awesome practice.

I love life on the move; though in 2015, I anticipate longer stays. Most of all, I am excited to experiment with creative ways to spend transit time. Like this travel meditation video that I made for Adobe's #givethanks campaign, A Bird's Eye View & Accidental Intimacies.

So my questions to you:
   1) What question do you ask others?
                         ... Change it up in 2015 and let me know how it goes.

    2) What would your infographic of time spent in 2014 look?
                        ... Do you want that to be different in 2015? If so, what will you do differently?

P.S. This post was written in San Francisco where I have been since the 1st of January. And I don't have plans to go anywhere....yet.

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The tools that I used for this post: infographic adapted from a Piktochart; stats/map from Travellerspoint; Bird's Eye made with Voice ipad app.

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Unleashing the Potential of Los Angeles: The My LA2050 Grants Challenge Report

20/3/2014

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Last year, I had the chance to discover what happens when you crowdsource ideas for $1,000,000 to shape the future of a major metropolitan city, Los Angeles.

In February of 2013, the Goldhirsh Foundation launched LA2050, a movement shaping and building the future of Los Angeles. Los Angeles is a tale of two cities- breathtaking beauty, poisoning pollution, extraordinary wealth, dire poverty- the paradoxes abound.

The LA2050 Report provided a snapshot of LA today across 8 indicators of wellbeing (arts & culture, education, environment, health, housing, income & employment, safety, social connectedness) The LA2050 Report projected how LA might be in 2050 if things continued along the current trajectory.

LA2050 sought to catalyze a different conversation- a new conversation- about how to bring Angelenos together to harness the creativity, passion and human capital to invent a new future for LA- a future that unleashes everyone's potential.

To that end, LA2050 initiated an open contest, My LA2050 Grants Challenge, for fresh ideas for LA's future. Angelenos created 279 submissions. 70,000 people voted on the projects. Goldhirsh Foundation invested $1M in the future of LA and awarded 10 grants of $100,000 to the open contest winners: one project per indicator + 2 wild cards. LA2050 researched the 279 submissions to identify trends and to highlight promising citizen visions.

LA2050's latest report:

Unleashing the Potential of Los Angeles identifies themes and trends that emerged in the My LA2050 Grants Challenge.

Highlights from the report:

1) Collaboration - overwhelmingly proposals came from partnerships and/or proposed partnerships to achieve social impact

2) Cross Indicator Themes emerged:

Youth Engagement
Technology
Public Space
Pop up/Mobile
Design & Innovation
Transportation
The Sharing Economy
Social Enterprise & Artpreneurs
Storytelling
LA2050 Amplifiers

3) Alternative Metrics for Impact: Appendix III

Appendix III shares interesting, innovative ways that projects proposed to evaluate their impact. Measurement and evaluation are increasingly the focus in the impact sector. Better feedback leads to better results and identifying new metrics for impact may

The volume, breadth and creativity of the My LA2050 Grant submissions were inspiring! It was a privilege to work on this report with an All Star Team: Tara Roth, Shauna Nep and Maite Hernandez Zubeldia

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Lean + Bootcamp Workout for A Social Impact Project

14/3/2014

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I attended a Lean Impact Workshop by Leanne Pittsford of Start Somewhere where we used the Javelin Board to practice the Lean method on a social impact project.

Within an afternoon, we identified a problem with customers (as distinguished from problems without customers that are not as ideal for a lean business!), tested assumptions with customers and pitched a prototype idea with potential customers.

The most valuable parts were:

thinking with a diverse group of people about how to apply the Lean method: who is the customer, what does the customer need, what is the riskiest assumption and determining what assumption to test
applying Leanne Pittsford's method to build lean tests by getting clear on vision (belief), mission (what you want to do), strategies (how will you do it) and goals (specific what you want to do).

Lean Workout: A Prototype

I designed this Lean Workout by hacking exercises from Eugene Eric Kim's Changemaker Bootcamp Watercooler* and Leanne Pittsford's Lean for Social Good workshop. This Lean Workout was a prototype to see how these two approaches might complement each other in order to accelerate social impact.

Renee Frissen (right) and I prototyped the Lean Workout with our social impact projects. Renee founded a Netherlands-based social enterprise Social Tech and I kickstarted OpenQRS. Erin Beitel (left), a rockstar Teach for America alum, budding digital diva and OpenQRS team member facilitated the Lean Workout.

Why A Lean Workout?

Prototyping favors action over perfection. The goal is learning- even if it results in the "failure" of an idea. I learned about prototypes and human-centered design working on the product development team for two ehealth startups with David Karshmer who led IDEO's health care practice in the 90s. A rough prototype tested with real customers offers a rapid way to disprove bad ideas in order to get to great ideas faster. We tested every idea immediately with customers in order to iteratively design our product/service offerings. The Lean method applies this rapid learning approach rigorously.

I love the premise of Eugene Eric Kim's Changemaker Bootcamp: preparing for effective collaboration is akin to sports training and results from practice! The Bootcamp workout model aligns with my sense of how to effectively build the capacity and skills for sustainable leadership, collaboration, and rigorous learning. It struck me that the Bootcamp workout model might also lend itself well to learning-through-applying the Lean approach for social entrepreneurial problem solving.

In the Lean for Social Good workshop, we didn't have a chance to apply the Lean method to our own initiatives. I was curious to test how the approach would work if two social enterprise teams paired to work through the Lean method on their respective initiatives. My hypothesis was that having people external to one's project join in this thought process would yield better results, faster.

How does the Lean method work when two companies pair up to apply Lean to their businesses
How does the Lean method work when applied to a social impact project? What are the edge of its usefulness?

Many social impact projects have multiple customers (those that pay and those that benefit may or may not be the same). How does that alter the model?
Lean is predicated on an environment where risk is possible and failure can be afforded. Many social impact projects are risk averse due to funding concerns and/or sensitive issues. How does this culture difference influence the application of lean in these organizations/contexts?

Our Lean Workout

After a quick check in, we did some workouts on our respective projects.

{Workout #1 Check In: presence, shared understanding}

I shared the OpenQRS story then presented the vision (belief), mission (what you want to do), strategies (how will you do it) and goals (specific what you want to do).

{Workout #2 Listening: presentation skills; listening}

We adapted the 100 Question Workout from the Changemaker Bootcamp. 15 minutes of rapid fire question generation. One question per post it. The questions revealed the gaps in storytelling, surfaced assumptions, forced clarity and generated new thinking about the project.

Then, we clustered the questions into themes. OpenQRS will use these questions as prompts for blog posts next month.

{Workout #3 Asking Generative Questions: listening, synthesizing, critical and creative thinking}

We ended with a Q&A to get answers needed for feedback to refine the vision, mission, strategies and goals. Then we switched projects and we did a repeat of the same workout for Renee's.

{Workout #4 Dialogue: listening, synthesizing, responding in real time}

While it was still fresh, we put Renee's project through the Javelin Board. We discovered that her multi-prong approach to move forward meant that she had multiple potential customers. A common feature of social impact projects is that the beneficiary is not always the same person who pays. Both are customers. Teasing out the different potential customers to determine a lean test was a great learning process.

{Workout #5 Javelin: clarifying, refining, designing tests, getting out of the building, talking with customers}

Ongoing Practice: Lean Workouts

Consistent with the Changemaker Bootcamp model that emphasizes these skills benefit from regular practice. Renee and I will continue our Lean Workouts in weekly check ins.

Here is our weekly Lean Workout Agenda:
Check In
1. My greatest success/win from last week:
2. My priority for the week is _____
3. My most inspiring moment last week was ______
4. Here's what I'm struggling with ______
5. _______ is on my 1 month horizon
6. _______ is on my 3-6 month horizon
7. Lean test from last week report back
8. Lean test for this week
9. (optional) My topic for 15 min brainstorm/open issue discussion

If requested, clarifying questions & reflections.
Listener jots notes for the speaker.
Repeat.

Key Learnings from our Lean Workout Process:

The 100 Question Workout was a high yield activity and a highlight of the day. (Thanks Eugene for sharing it and Changemaker Bootcamp Alum Eugene Chan for telling me about it!)
An external partner in this process surfaces assumptions and forces the implicit to be explicit
Helping the other enterprise provides the opportunity for great insights on one's own project even when the businesses are completely different!
A 3rd party process facilitator keeps the flow and provides a fresh perspective

Ideas for Future Iterations:

Add a 5 minute reflective discussion just after the pitch. The listeners "sensemake" what they heard immediately after the pitch. The speaker listens to how the listeners understood the project: the way they talk about it, what words stuck, what things were unclear and learn from the gaps, questions, interpretations. (Renee's suggestion- great idea!)
Prompt participants to maintain a "cross learning" notebook/paper to jot down reflections for their project as they work on the other project. Alternatively, build 3 min reflection breaks after each workout to capture ideas/lateral thinking from working on your own/the other project.

Lean Learnings:

Clarified use of the Javelin Board
Identified the multiple customers for a social impact project
Trimmed the project to its bare essentials to an MVP that can be tested iteratively
Surfaced critical riskiest assumptions that narrowed the focus for MVP testing

Acknowledgements/Resources

Here is our full agenda including our notes from the Lean for Social Good Summit (These are unedited and may include Dutch and English).

Grateful to Eugene and Leanne who inspired this Lean Workout! For more in depth resources, please follow up with Leanne Pittsford of Start Somewhere and Eugene Eric Kim of the Changemaker Bootcamp and Faster than 20.

*Disclaimer: I've not participated in the Changemaker Bootcamp. These activities reflect my interpretations of exercises from the Changemaker Bootcamp Watercooler.

Have you done something similar? I would love to hear your thoughts on this approach.

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Mentoring Moment: The Art of Animating

11/3/2014

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A recent mentoring conversation with a beginner in the art of facilitation prompted this post of things that I think about when I facilitate. I love the expression that my French friends use "to animate". A facilitator's role can range from being more of a mediator working invisibly to being more of an animator applying one's unique, dynamic energy to create a container for participants to discover their role as heroes of the unfolding experience. An effective facilitator of a meeting- keeping focus/time, moderating participation and achieving objectives - falls somewhere in the middle.

Each person brings uniqueness to the role; each situation invites different ways of being. Building capacity for facilitation is a practice. The art is knowing what is optimal for the context and having the flexibility to improvise across the spectrum in the moment!

1. A Learner's Mindset

Facilitation is a skill. Skills are best practiced over time with a learning approach. I like to identify the one or two skills that I want to focus on in an event that I am facilitating. Knowing what I want to practice heightens my attention, then I practice it and solicit feedback on that specific task as well as generally so that I develop deeper awareness of both strengths and weaknesses. Culturally, some people focus too much on strengths and others too much on weaknesses.

True self awareness sees both as they are. Hone your strengths and grow your skills around your weaknesses. Even as you become more experienced, seek feedback as if you were beginner. Meng's book on Google's program for emotional intelligence development, Search Inside Yourself, provides useful tools to cultivate these skills.

2. The Prep/Setup

Attending to the physical space is one of those invisible acts that yields great benefits. Here are prompts:

how will the physical space support the intended flow of the event?
what will people be looking at (your back/peoples' backs or everyone's faces)
how does the space support or inhibit engagement/participation?
how will people feel in the space?
what is the shape of the table (e.g. in mediation, we prefer round whenever possible to get over the "idea" of sides), how are the chairs arranged (e.g. if no round table, we seat "opposing parties" on the same side of the table to physically remove an adversarial stance).

Preparing the flow of an event is crucial. When I create an experience for people, I consider:

how will people engage with convener, facilitator and each other?
what will be everyone's first shared experience?
how does the agenda fit with and/or respond to the people in the room?
what support will people need to fully engage (trust building, food, bio breaks, reflection time, social interaction to enhance/solidify content, scaffolded experience)?
how flexible is the schedule to accommodate the unpredictable?
how can we design the flow to yield the desired participant experience?
what design of processes/methods will yield the desired outcomes for the event?

Designing what methods/processes to apply is an art and craft that benefits from experimentation, success, failure, spontaneous adaptation, curiosity and flexibility.

For discussion on these topics, I suggest browsing the Changemaker Bootcamp Watercooler: "space physics", "group physics" and "designing engagement."

3. The Start

Creating a container that begins with a clear start and a conscious close is powerful. The start creates our first shared experience, it sets the tone and supports shared understanding about our goals (Outcomes), what we'll do to get there (Agenda) and how we would like to engage with each other (what people often refer to as group agreements/ground rules, though I call party favors, see below.)

I like to ask people as they introduce themselves to answer the question: "what do you hope to get out of today?" and record responses on a flip chart. This participant generated list sets shared expectations from the outset, serves as a guide for me. and provides a reference to check at the close.

The Ariel Group proposes a 4 question check in that asks: How are you feeling? What percentage are you present? What is keeping you from being 100% present? What do you hope to get out of ____? and closing with a round of "Aha Moments".

How are you feeling?
What percent are you present?
What's keeping you from being 100% present?
What do you hope to get out of ______?

Eugene Eric Kim offers excellent insights on The Art of the Start when creating containers for collaboration and provides more in depth resources for building capacity to facilitate collaboration at Faster Than 20.

4. The Container

I follow these key points from Angeles Arrien to create a container whether it is a design/product workshop for creative problem solving or a mediation to resolve a conflict.

A) What will people need to maintain sufficiency?

What do people need to be fully present and engaged? Attending to this means orienting people to the space (logistically, e.g. bathrooms, fire exits, etc), to the day (e.g. bio breaks, etc) and to the content (e.g. schedule, etc). It necessitates understanding what "safety" people need to participate fully; often called group agreements (or ground rules), I prefer to call these "Party Favors." I share my basic list then invite people to add any others that they need to participate fully in the experience.

My basic list includes:

cultivate curiosity (ask questions, allow emergence, think different)
radical respect (courage to speak, humility to listen)
build on the ideas of others (encourage WILD ideas, have fun)

B) What can be used to facilitate shared understanding?

When I address shared understanding, I think about it both as something verbal and something visual. Having someone who can be a "scribe" to record notes, or better yet, a visual notetaker, who can make beautiful picture-filled notes, helps participants know that they have been heard.

The main areas that I attend to for shared understanding that include a visual component:

Why we are here: Goals/Outcomes
Where we are going: Agenda
Perspectives: document what people say, ideas shared, draw pictures to create shared meaning
Artifacts: If one does a good job of taking notes during an event, then these become artifacts for future conversations.

C) Host Different Points of View

We are increasingly in environments of preference-philia- a homogeneity that diminishes our capacity to host different points of view. Here are a couple of tips/tools for supporting the expression of diverse views.

Conversational Justice: when developing an exercise, time structured segments that require each person to participate and that afford each person the same amount of time to participate can provide conversational justice. This forces participation by quieter people and limits the time of people who might tend to dominate a discussion.
Participatory Engagement: engaging people who might be reluctant to speak in a larger group can be done by breaking into smaller groups that enable more participation. Alternatively, an activity in silence ensures that everyone participates or providing everyone with sticky notes and asking questions of a large group but each person has to answer on a sticky note.
Lateral Decision Making: adopting approaches to differing views that allow everyone to look in the same direction at the same time can be powerful. Edward De Bono's Six Thinking Hats introduces this model that works effectively and efficiently for inclusive, participatory discussions. See under "Read More" for a version of this method that I adapted and applied for clinical decisions.
Scaffold the Experience: easing people into sharing their views through a staged process can help people to feel comfortable when an issue may be threatening. One effective model that I have used starts with:

me (silent/my perspective)
me with you (silent/I look at what you wrote)
me (silent/reflect on my perspective informed by seeing yours)
you with me (silent/I look at what your wrote and ask/build on it)
us (engage in dialogue openly)

D) Hold the Creative Tension

In addition to hosting different views, one needs to be able to sit with the views in opposition- to lean into the uncertain space. In a world that rushes to solutions, the facilitator's role is to allow a solution to elude long enough for great ideas to emerge. This may mean: Sit in the Messiness. Change the Frame. Go for a Walk in Nature. Visit a Toy Store. Think Different. Most of all, cultivate the capacity for uncertainty.

At the 2008 World Forum on Facing Violence: Justice, Ethics & Conflict Resolution, Mark Gerzon promised to "Keep it warm, but not too hot;" his book, Leading through Conflict is a favorite resource on building this capacity to hold the creative tension.

Another favorite is John O'Neil's Leadership Aikido. Building this capacity takes practice. Each person's journey is unique. I shared insights from my learnings building this capacity for mediation in Passive Participation in Conflict and a chapter on clinical ethics mediation.

5. The Close

Whether it is a check out, sharing "aha moments" or "jazz hands" moments, or making commitments to action, the act of consciously closing the container strengthens the power of the space created.

6. The Learning Loop

For the facilitator, the end comes after the learning loop. At the beginning, we set out our learning goals. At the end, we need to get feedback on our practice.

I prefer to do a learning loop by:

learner shares what went well
learner shares what could be done differently next time
peers: external people can share their perspectives, ideally in a feedback sandwich:
positive - growth opportunity - positive. Feedback needs to include concrete examples fand specific explanations of why it was positive and/or a growth opportunity.
participant group (probably via email): provide feedback
learner integrates self-assessment and feedback into a refined understanding of his/her abilities
learner identifies new skills for revised learning goals at next experience

Facilitation requires practice of skills as well as the process. By evaluating participants' feedback and achieved outcomes, a facilitator can assess whether the methods selected were appropriate for the participant's experience and if the process yielded the desired outcomes. (double learning loop)

On a learning loop note, I would love to hear from you about whether this post is helpful. Comments, questions and additional resources welcome!

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Time Capsule: The Adventures of a FILM Camera

10/3/2014

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Remember this? A camera, right? Today, in 2014, it's referred to as a FILM camera. Distinct from just, well, a camera. FILM cameras are novelty items acquired in the closets of grandparents and thrift stores. This is an intergenerational story about the unfolding adventure of a FILM camera.

Kate's take on how it began:

This Kodak Instamatic FILM camera belongs to my friend, Reika Goh- my 16 year old neighbor who just moved back to Singapore. She bought it at a thrift store in San Francisco. The story of the FILM camera began with one of those milestone moments of adulthood. It went something like this...

I was driving my two teen neighbors home after our final Hapa-Hafu Kitchen Project (HKP)- a semi-regular time to cook fusion foods that celebrate our mixed heritages. As I drove, I overheard this conversation between the girls sitting in the back:
Reika: "I went thrifting last weekend on Haight St"
Clarissa: "My sister and her friends like to do that, did you get anything?"
Reika: "Yeah! I got a FILM camera!!!"
Clarissa: "Oh, wow, that's cool! I got a FILM camera from my Dad. What kind of FILM camera is it?"
Reika: "A Kodak Instamatic, it's such a COOL FILM camera!"
Clarissa: "Does it work?"
Reika: "I think so, but I have to put new film in it. I'm SO excited to have a FILM camera."

All I could hear was this strange use of the word FILM with camera. I piped in: "Wait, why are you girls talking about a FILM camera? All cameras use film." Silence... "Oh,...wait,.... right I guess, they're digital now... oh, right, and mobile phones as cameras... Wait, wait, you mean, you girls haven't ever known film in cameras?"

In the typical, resistant disbelief one experiences in these moments, I said confidently, ardently, "Surely, they still sell cameras that use film in stores; high end cameras use film. Of course, a store like Best Buy also sells cameras with film, not only thrift stores." At that moment, we passed a Best Buy and determined by a haze of denial and curiosity, I bet the girls $1 that Best Buy sold cameras with FILM. So in we went and wandered around the "camera" section --- all digital cameras--- disbelief! Thanks to disposable FILM cameras, I didn't lose the $1, but it was humbling. As we got back into the car, I groveled, "Oh man, I'm officially old now! Thanks for bearing with me through that 'catching up with time' moment." Laughter erupted!

Then I wanted to get into the nitty gritty details, "So, does the camera have undeveloped film in it?"
Reika: "Yes, but it's not recoverable."
Kate: "Why not?"
Reika: "It's in a cartridge and I would have to take it out in pitch dark and I don't think it'll work"
Kate: "Of course, it can be done! And WE HAVE to do it! Imagine what story might be hidden in the film?! Who gives away a camera with film in it? Pictures tell a story- maybe it's a love story, a mystery to be solved. We have to find out the story inside this camera-- where it's been, to whom it belonged, it'll be a mystery for the HKP to solve..."
Reika: "I don't think it'll work, it has to be pitch dark and we have to get it out of the cartridge and keep it sealed. And I think the film is really old, kind of like the camera."
Kate: "We can do it! We have to do it!"

But of course, the story of the FILM camera begins with Reika. Here's her take:

Reika's on How It Began:

“I’m buying it. I don’t care”, I told my friend as I carried the Kodak Instamatic 100 in my hand. During my previous visit to Thrift Town in the Mission, I remember catching a glimpse of the cameras stowed away in the glass cabinet and vowing to visit the area the next time I would return. And when I did, this time round with a friend, I spent about half an hour in that one area, inspecting and observing the details of every camera we had found. My friend and I felt bad for the sales lady who had to keep taking out and putting back every camera we were fiddling around with, but we were being teenagers, glued to our wonderful find of the camera section. Out of all the cameras, the Kodak Instamatic 100 caught my eye. With its boxy and sleek shape, a metallic body with hints of red, it was obvious that I, Reika Goh, wanted it so badly.

I’m not one who buys everything and anything that I like. I’m pretty careful and picky when it comes to spending money, but when precious things like this pop up every once in a while, it’s a no-brainer for me. Plus, there was still film in it! So, with the camera in my hand, along with a few pieces of clothing, my friend and I queued up for the cashier with grins on our faces. I was excited to show my new camera around.

The next day, when I went to hang out with my HKP (Hapa/Hafu Kitchen Project) crew, I told them about my new “vintage” find. While 15 year old Clarissa and I saw the camera as “old” and “vintage”, Kate, on the other hand, did not. This camera did not spark Kate the way it did for Clarissa and I, but instead, made her realize that the things Clarissa and I found “old” was used or seen during her younger days. When I told Kate that I had done some research on an alternative film that the camera could use, she suggested we go to Best Buy to get some. Clarissa and I were both doubtful that Best Buy would sell film, but off we went anyway, with Kate eager on finding film for this camera.

We all hopped out of the car and entered the shop. While Clarissa and I looked at digital cameras, Kate went to ask a salesperson about film. The person made a face and responded, “We don’t sell film here. We have disposable cameras though, if that’s what you’re looking for.” After questioning the salesperson for five minutes, we all left Best Buy and decided that it was best to visit a camera store.

On the way there, Kate told us how weird it was that we were calling objects from her childhood as “vintage” and how “old” she felt. It was an interesting conversation as we all sat in Kate’s car and discussed how rapidly our world was evolving.

When we arrived at the camera workshop and picked up the film we needed, we drove back home, turned off all lights, shut ourselves in the pitch black bathroom and began to take the film out of the camera. It was my first time being in such a dark environment, and the process of taking the film seemed to have taken hours. The cartridge took forever for us to pull apart. But, with Kate’s strong will, she pulled it apart and even broke a nail during the process. (Go Kate!)

We kept the film safely in a wooden box, and it sat in Kate’s house for months as we were both too busy to find the time to find a place to get it developed. I thought that the film was too old to get developed and that the images would not come out at all.

Back to Kate:

So, when we got home that night, I converted my bathroom into a dark room. We took the cartridge out of the camera and began fiddling with it. Pulling, twisting, pulling, twisting. It was hard to pull apart. At one point, it seemed that there was no way we could break this plastic without damaging the cartridge (remember this was all in the dark!) Then it "popped" (i.e. we cracked it) and then we worked that crack until it opened. As I pulled the film out, there was a layer of paper attached to the back of the film. I rolled it up and placed it into this double sealed wood container. We put an extra layer of tape on the outside to make sure that it didn't open and expose the film.

I went off to Europe and Africa for work. Reika moved back to Singapore. The film canister sat neglected on my desk until the fall when I met Eugene Kim, an avid photographer who posted something on Facebook about film and it reminded me that I wanted to get the film developed. I asked for a recommendation of a place to get film developed-- realizing that now, getting FILM developed is a novelty.

Eventually, I took the container to Gasser Photo in San Francisco. I had an excited though mostly incoherent conversation with the very patient, knowledgable employee who listened to my story about the camera. She endeavored to decipher what kind of camera it was, because I kept referring to the "cartridge" yet said that it was not a Polariod. I didn't remember the make/model of camera or know the type of film. She opined that it was 110 film and advised me that I needed to be sure what type of film it was before I got it developed. While that is quite logical, it had entirely slipped my mind. I had only known 35 mm film and polariods; I didn't realize there were so many different types of film!

I emailed Reika in Singapore to confirm the film type from the cartridge container; 126 film was the reply. Then began the quest to find a photo lab that could develop 126 film. Thanks to Wikipedia, I learned about different types of film and discovered that Kodak discontinued making 126 film in 2008, so there are very few labs with the chemicals needed to develop this type of film. On a January trip to LA, I decided to check for photo labs. It's Hollywood- people use film here! Sure enough, I found Simi Valley Photo Lab. I called the shop and they had the chemicals to develop 126 film though the owner strongly warned me that it was likely that there would be nothing viewable on the film. While I was wildly enthusiastic about the story that might come from these long lost pictures, I was equally pragmatic to realize that it was likely 30+ year old film, subjected to who knows what conditions and would almost certainly be unreadable.

When I went to the store to drop off the film, I told the owner about the adventures with the FILM camera that was now in Singapore. He suggested that I wait while the film was developed since it was likely there wouldn't be anything on it, so that I didn't unnecessarily pay for images to be scanned. He seemed perplexed by my enthusiasm to develop pictures from a camera that wasn't mine. I explained that I was following through on the project with my 16 year old friend and I wanted her to have a sense of the joys and wonder from learning the history of "things" - all too forgotten in a highly disposable world. He commented, "Who do you think are the ones who are using film cameras? It's almost all teenagers." I left for 30 minutes where I waited for what seemed like an eternity. It was exactly 1 year since the car conversation that started this whole adventure... what would come of it?

I drove back to the shop and went in. The owner emerged from the back with a roll of negatives and a look of disbelief. "Well, you won't believe it but there are images on here." I ordered scanned images to be emailed. They arrived a week later. I was shocked by how well they turned out!

Reika on the Finale:

Even though I thought that the film was too old to get developed and that the images would not come out at all, I recently received news from Kate that some of this twenty-something-years-old images were appearing!

Now, as I sit in my room in my old home in Singapore, I eagerly wait for Kate to send the scanned images of the developed film. Just when I thought the adventure was coming to an end, it is still ongoing as these images we’ll have, will be our new mystery. No wonder it was instinct for me to buy that camera.

Finding the Date and the People:

After reviewing the photos with my father, here's what we observed. The Kodak Instamatic came out in 1963. From the pictures, we've dated this film to the early/mid 60s. That means the FILM is roughly 50 years old!!

Please let us know if you spot something in these pictures that would help to date them, and if you recognize the PEOPLE in these pictures, please let them/us know!

Here are the things that we identified to determine the date:

Drape Style
Beehive/Bouffant Hairstyle
Skinny Ties
Eyeglasses
Metal TV tray

Stripe Tie
Bouffant/Beehive Hairstyle
At knee length skirt/dress
Reclining Lazy boy

Pole Lamp
Reclining Lazy-boy Chair
Coffee table style

Style of Eye Glasses
Ties
Short sleeve shirts [style]
Shirt style on man on left

Type of pot
Eyeglasses

Drapes
TV Tray
Skinny Ties
Short sleeve shirts
Below/at knee length skirt

Most of all, if you recognize the PEOPLE in these pictures, please let them/us know!

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Habits for Communicating Across Difference: Speaking to be Heard [3 of 3]

9/3/2014

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Last post in a series recapping a workshop on Habits for Communicating Across Difference at UnCollege, a revolutionary gap year program for self-directed learning founded by Thiel Fellow and education changemaker Dale Stephens.

The 7 Habits I propose:

1. Meditate
2. Listening to Oneself
3. Listening to Understand Layers
4. Know Oneself
5. Celebrate Differences
6. Speaking in order to be Heard
7. [your own habit]

... What are yours?

Habit 6: Speaking in order to be Heard

Goal: Speak in a way that others can hear

Skills:

To know what you want the listener to do, feel and understand
To be congruent by aligning your layers
To be prepared with SCARF

First and foremost, if the other person has shared/spoken first, then it is essential to fully acknowledge what they have said so the person is "primed" to listen to you. [See the first post, especially Habit 3]

Speaking in order to be Heard

A key aspect of speaking in order to be heard is focusing intently on the listener. It's not about what I want to say, it's about what will the listener hear? How can I accomplish my goal to be heard most effectively?

1. Be Clear on the Message
This means that I need to know what I want the listener to do, feel and understand. (1) It may help to identify 2-3 key points and how they can be illustrated. Then I think about how to communicate that so that the message can be heard. I start with each of the layers from Habit 3 and make them congruent to deliver the message that I want to convey. What's the data that I'm sharing, what emotions do I have and how am I expressing them (explicitly/indirectly), what interests/needs/values are involved, what part of my identity may be at stake and how am I managing that in this conversation. [See Habit 3]

2. Prepare, then Be Present
When I speak about an issue where I may encounter differing perspectives, I've found meditation helpful [See Habit 1], because effective communication hinges upon the ability to respond well. Thinking analytically prepares me only so much- being fully present in the moment is priceless!

3. Know Common Triggers & Recovery Tactics
Deepening awareness with common sources of conflict [Habit 5/6] enables me to know what issues might trigger other people. When a difficult issues arises, I endeavor to keep focused on the problem, not the person. Even when a person may appear to be intertwined with an issue, look for ways to separate the person from the problem. (2)

If things feels shaky, one method that I find helpful is to refocus on mutual respect and mutual purpose. (3) Then I pay attention to language stripping judgements and interpretations from what I say and focusing on objective language. [Habit 2]

4. Engage with Generative Questions
Approach difference with questions that can be answered together is a way to generate dialogue. Even seemingly "stupid questions" about the obvious enable shared meaning and shared understanding around language that we assume to share-- yet rarely do.

Try this: next time you are out with a group of people; ask each person to share what "respect" means to them and how it is demonstrated. The diversity of responses may surprise you on this word that is so often something that we assume to have shared meaning.

Additional generative questions resources: strategic questioning manual by Fran Peavey (via Seb Paquet), art of questioning workshop by Oscar Brenifier, and asking generative questions (via Eugene Eric Kim).

5. Bring SCARF When Needed
There are common issues that may trigger someone; remember the SCARF: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relationship, Fairness. These are core identity-related issues that may prompt strong reactions when they are perceived to be threatened. Here are some tips for how to navigate them:

Trigger

Status

Response

People will have strong reactions when something that is said threatens their perceived "status" in a setting.

Strategy to be Heard

Be aware of different types of status - social, familial, professional and be mindful of how what one says may threaten a person's status.

Certainty

Many people need to have strong sense of things being certain. For example, religion and science are two things that give people a sense of certainty.

Minimize uncertainty, which can be done by clarifying what is not at issue at the same time as what one says.

Autonomy

Many people have a desire to determine their own direction and to have a sense of control over what they are doing and what happens to them.

Maximize a person's sense of self determination

Relatedness

Our need to be connected with others is powerful. Who is in and who is critical. When this status is threatened, it can trigger people.

Fostering connections between people who may perceive themselves to be different can help to overcome relatedness barriers.

Fairness

Unfair exchanges result in a strong threat responses and can limit empathy.

Increase transparency, increase communication, set clear expectations at the outset to mitigate fairness.

Do the SCARF topics seem familiar? Most are reflect in the Habit 4 values continua. Status/Relatedness fall under Social Structure; Certainty/Autonomy fall under Power;

Navigating an Ask

For many people, one of the hardest parts of speaking may be when one has an "ask." Here are a couple of thoughts on preparing for a conversation with a request.

1. Ask versus Demand

Many people wait until in a perilous situation to ask for assistance; this context can make an ask into a thinly veiled demand, because the high stakes decrease the other person's ability to say "no" without risking the relationship. To break this cycle, tease "hidden demands" out of one's ask. A simple test: when "no" is not an OK answer, then you aren't making an ask, you are making a hidden demand.

2. Invite Brainstorm

Express your need/want and invite others to brainstorm with you on potential solutions. By focusing on what is needed rather than on an initially identified or preferred solution, everyone has the opportunity to identify solutions. This may generate more ideas than initially considered as well as more buy in from people who participate in generating ideas.

Responding to Requests

In Action

After the workshop, a Fellow asked: "What did you mean when you said that a person's Myers-Brigg profile would change? I'm an INTJ. It fits me exactly. I'm not going to change."

I took a deep breath. [Habit 1] I could hear tension in the Fellow's voice, [Habit 3] and I thought about SCARF [Habit 6]- what might have been triggered? I reflected on what I heard-- a threat to status, as an NTJ; perhaps a challenge to certainty, because if how he understood himself was variable, it might alter his sense of certainty about his place in the world. [Habit 3] and if on the continuum [Habit 4-5], he has high uncertainty avoidance, this kind of change could be perceived as very threatening.

I endeavored to model empathy poker. "When I said, 'a person's Myers-Brigg preference profile might, and likely would, change over time,' I'm wondering if you may have felt distressed or uneasy," I paused to look for affirmation from the Fellow, he nodded. Then I continued "because it sounds as though you have found comfort in the self-understanding that the Myers-Brigg affords you?" He nodded. So let's put this experience in the context of providing self-care, I imagine the internal dialogue might have sounded like this: "When Kate commented that 'a person's Myers-Briggs profile might change,' I felt anxious, because my need for certainty about how I engage with the world was challenged. I acknowledge that I value this tool because it gives me a sense of clarity about myself and how I fit in the world. It's OK if Kate has a different view on the tool, because I am comfortable with the tool." [Habit 2] "Yes."

As the fellow's voice and body relaxed, we began an enriching and expanding conversation about our different perspectives on the Myers-Brigg. We discussed how one can use a framework such as the Myers-Brigg and the conflict continuas as a tool for building skills to communicate across difference, because ultimately, we want to be able to reach other people- to connect, to share ideas- and if we consider where we are on the continuum [Habit 4], then we can learn how to communicate with people who fall on a different end of the spectrum. [Habit 5]. When one learns how to notice one's reaction and apply these techniques, it opens the possibility to learn about differing views without being defended and defensive when discussing topics that challenge one's beliefs, experiences, views and values.

Habit 7: [Your Own Habit]

Everyone is different and understanding your own communication style and the habits that you need to develop in order to communicate effectively are personal- that's the art of communication. To emphasize the importance of focusing on this personal approach, the last "habit" was left open for participants to identify and share their unique strategies for communicating effectively across difference.

Additional habits identified from fellows and some that I have gathered from colleagues include:

Listening with One's Eyes:

- Paying attention to non-verbal cues from body language, hand movements, eye contact, etc.

Listening for What is Not Said
Playing Music Together

- Making music together creates shared communication not dependent on language

I would love to hear your favorite habit for communicating effectively across difference. Please share your habit for communicating across difference in the comments!

References/Resources

1. Creating Engaging Presentations, Ariel Group Interact Blog.
2. Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and WIlliam Ury.
3. Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
4. SCARF: a brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others, NeuroLeadership Journal by David Rock.
5. High Performance Communication, Ed Batista.
6. Power of Positive No by William Ury.
7. Strategic Questioning Manual by Fran Peavey (via Seb Paquet)
8, Groupaya's Asking Generative Questions (via Eugene Eric Kim)

Post 1 [Habit 1, 2, 3] | Post 2 [Habit 4, 5] | Post 3 [Habit 6, 7]

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Habits for Communicating Across Difference: Celebrating [2 of 3]

8/3/2014

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This is the second of three posts about a workshop: 7 Habits for Communicating Across Difference at UnCollege, the revolutionary gap year program for self-directed learning founded by Thiel Fellow and education changemaker Dale Stephens.

The 7 Habits I propose:

1. Meditate
2. Listening to Oneself
3. Listening to Understand Layers
4. Know Oneself
5. Celebrate Differences
6. Speaking in order to be Heard
7. [your own habit]

... What are yours?

Habit 4: Know Oneself

Goal: Know Your "Continuum of Conflict" Profile

Skills:

To develop awareness about the continuum of values that often lead to conflict
To know where one falls on each continuum
To understand how to recognize these common differences between individuals
To develop awareness to look for diversity among individuals even within "stereotypical groups"
To cultivate a vocabulary to celebrate differences

Cultivating Cultural Humility

How does your environment/experience influence your perspective? Are the bold vertical lines the same or different lengths?

(a) People acculturated to perspective see the right-hand line as longer than the left.

(b) As background lines do not suggest a perspective, one can see the lines are the same length.[1]

Identifying Points of Variation around Common Subjects: The Continua of Conflict

Variations around Social Structure
Variations around Time
Variations around Power
Variations around Communication Style
Variations around Information and Decisions

Many core values and beliefs fall on a continuum; several of these continua are common sources of conflict. These continua provide an opportunity to determine one's preferences and style. To know oneself is the first step to cultivating the capacity to recognize when and where diverging perspectives may arise around everyday issues. Applying this skill to familiar aspects of daily life, one develops “cultural humility.”

By looking at the many ways that individuals vary even within a group, it is possible to see beyond “stereotypes." The ability to ask questions with open-hearted curiosity about what things mean to another person affording the opportunity to become an explorer in the adventure of everyday life. See "Read More" for full set of continuum of conflict.

Habit 5: Communicate Across Differences

Goal: Communicate Across Differences

Skills:

To acknowledge differences
To bridge differences by normalizing different perspectives
To connect from difference to common ground

References/Resources

[1] Whitehouse, Roger. The Uniqueness of Individual Perception, in Information Design, ed. Jacobsen, R. MIT Press, 1999.
[2] Continuum of Conflict adapted from: Avruch K, Culture & Conflict Resolution, United States Institute of Peace Press, 1998. Chew PK, The Conflict & Culture Reader, NYU Press 2001. LeBaron M, Bridging Cultural Conflicts, Jossey-Bass Press, 2003. "Mapping Cultures: Strategies for Effective Intercultural Negotiations" in Second Tractk/Citizens' Diplomacy, edited by J. Davies and E. Kaufman. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.: 149-160. Moore, C.W. and Peter Woodrow. 2002. As well as Myers-Briggs Literature.

Post 1 [Habit 1, 2, 3] | Post 2 [Habit 4, 5] | Post 3 [Habit 6, 7]

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Habits for Communicating Across Difference: Listening [1 of 3]

7/3/2014

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January kicked off with a return visit to UnCollege, the revolutionary gap year program for self-directed learning founded by Thiel Fellow and education changemaker Dale Stephens. UnCollege offers a mentored environment for Fellows to pursue their own learning goals. As someone who self-designed a "masters" in leadership, ethics and conflict resolution in the School of Life and who designed my own major in college, I appreciate UnCollege's model to advance and legitimize self-directed learning.

To align with UnCollege's weekly theme of "Habits," the workshop introduced "7 Habits for Communicating Across Difference." Facilitating the workshop was a delightful opportunity to learn with UnCollege's engaged, curious and highly motivated Fellows.

The 7 Habits I proposed:

1. Meditate
2. Listening to Oneself
3. Listening to Understand Layers
4. Know Oneself
5. Celebrate Differences
6. Speaking in order to be Heard
7. [your own habit]

... What are yours?

Habit 1: Meditate

Goal: Meditate in order to develop awareness of your thoughts

Skills:

To develop awareness of your thoughts and notice when your mind wanders
To observe the thoughts (reactions, judgements, ideas) in your mind
To concentrate on specific thoughts and to (re)focus your wandering mind
To grow your ability to "mind the gap" - the moment between a stimulus and your response
To generate insight, compassionate responses and wise action in the "gap"

When I learned to meditate and began practicing it daily, I began to be able to hear the noise of my mind. to notice my reactions that interfered with my ability to actually listen effectively. My first meditation teacher, Ingen Breen, explained, "with meditation one cultivates the ability to "mind the gap" - the moment between a stimulus and our response to it. As we deepen our practice, we are able to widen the gap and instead of reacting unconsciously, we gain the ability to respond intentionally." Once I learned to hear my "noise, I was able to concentrate on filtering it out in order to truly listen to another person.

When I mention meditation, people often say, "Oh, I can't do that. My mind goes everywhere." Several meditation teachers have offered the insight that there are many types of meditation; one purpose of meditation is to cultivate awareness of one's thoughts, which doesn't mean to have no thoughts, rather it means to be aware of the mind as it "goes everywhere." Simply watch the thoughts and come back to one's breath. With that in mind, the workshop began with two minutes of silence following a simple prompt: "Breathing in I am aware I am breathing in, breathing out I am aware I am breathing out. In, Out."

We ended with a quick debrief about the experience. One fellow reflected, "I had to catch my mind from wandering about 20 times." To which, I replied, "Bravo! Most people don't even notice their mind wandering. You noticed it 20 times- that's advanced!"

Here's a short, fun and practical video introduction on how to meditate for a moment- it even provides a chance to practice for 1 minute.

Did you catch your mind wandering during the minute of silence?

from Buddha Station

What other practices do you use to quiet your mind? to develop awareness of your thoughts?

Habit 2: Listening to Oneself

Goal: Listen to oneself in order to be able to listen deeply to others

Skills:

To develop awareness of your inner dialogue (judgments, feelings, needs, interests)
To recognize your feelings and needs
To acknowledge your feelings and to meet your needs
To be prepared to listen to others without your feelings, needs, thoughts getting in the way

The second habit is what to do with the "noise" that begins when you hear your mind. I have found the application of the Non Violent Communication (NVC) model effective for self-care. Applied to oneself*, NVC is a powerful tool for cultivating self awareness and emotional reliance.

The first step is to distinguish between an observation and judgments. Our ability to interpret is infinite and often embedded. Slowing our responses down enough to simply address what is observed (seen/heard) unencumbered by the meaning we attribute to it is a skill that takes practice. Once we identify what triggered a reaction, we can uncode our response. We have to learn to strip away the judgments and interpretations to only the objective information, when I see "x" or when I hear "y."

The next two steps require developing the skills to recognize and unpack one's reaction to triggers. I didn't know that I had a limited feeling vocabulary until I attended an NVC workshop on race, class and gender. The instructor read "highly charged" statements aloud and we had to go to stand next to "feeling words" that were scattered around the room. Even with only the basics of mad, glad, sad, bad and scared, it was a challenging exercise. So began my journey in emotional language literacy; the feelings list included below under "Read More" helped immensely to grow my emotions vocabulary.

My initial reaction to the step of identifying one's needs was "pfff." In health professions though our work centers around helping/serving others in great need, the clinical culture often supports denial of one's own needs and often a distain/rejection of 'neediness' expressed by others, except one's patients, of course. What I hadn't realized until I learned to identify my needs and address them myself was how much I relied on and subconsciously imposed on others to meet my needs. [My apologies all!] Learning this step was empowering and liberating. See the needs list included below under "Read More."

The last step is a request. When this model is applied to oneself*, one asks how can I meet this need for myself. I share this NVC framework for self-care and as a tool to develop resilience and empowerment with the ability to acknowledge and meet one's own needs.

*I share the NVC model with the caveat that, there are cultural values embedded within it. Particularly with regard to the emphasis on "I" statements, which may not translate to cultures grounded in more communitarian concepts of self. As well, when the NVC model is unskillfully applied on others, it can be quite violent. Thus, I share this as a tool to be applied only with oneself.

Habit 3: Listening to Understand Layers

Goal: Listen to understand another

Skills:

To learn the 4 parts of listening to understand
To know what layers to listen for
To respond to and acknowledge each layer

Listening seemed easy until I actually started to pay attention to it. Then, I discovered, it's an art. I have learned different techniques for listening, but it wasn't until I started meditating that I became aware of noise in my head that often gets in the way of listening to others (see Habit 1). Then I learned to quiet my noise with the NVC model (see Habit 2) and fully show up to listen to another person.

A common element among different listening techniques (active listening, reflective listening, empathic listening) is emphasis that listening is an active verb. Listening is bi-directional; it requires engagement by both parties. Listening necessitates more than passively hearing the other person. It is completed by the listener reflecting back what is understood from what has been said.

I serve as a volunteer mediator for the San Francisco Police Department's Office of Citizen Complaints. Unlike traditional mediation that results in a contractual agreement, our goal is to foster "understanding", which, at times, can feel unclear as a final outcome. Understanding does not require agreement on the facts; it means to acknowledge what another person experienced even if your view of the same situation differs. In these mediations sometimes if it hard to know when we've achieved "understanding." A few years ago, I created this framework: a four part process of Listening to Understand- our goal for that mediation process. When communication breaks down in any situation, this model may be helpful to check back and acknowledge each of the four steps.

Now that my mind is quiet, what am I listening for?

When I listen, I am paying attention to layers. Just as an iceberg has the visible tip with 80% beneath, so I find it is also with language. People's stories- narrative, details, facts- reveal only about 20% of what is really going on. To listen effectively, one needs to develop the skills to hear the other 80%. When you are able to reflect 100% of the "message" back to a person, s/he will feel heard. Interestingly, often, it's less about the 20% that a person says and much more important to reflect the unspoken 80% for a person to feel truly heard.

So, let's give your ears some hooks to grab onto as the stream of words flow at you.

Listening for Layers

Data (details, facts, what happened)

Feelings (emotions, verbal and non-verbal cues)

Needs (values, concerns, interests)

Identity (core sense of self)

Original image by Uwe Kils, Wiska Bodo CC-BY-SA-3.0
via Wikimedia Commons

First, the data layer- that's what's in plain sight; what a person says, the facts, details. Data focuses on the observation- "what happened" removing judgement and interpretive language as much as possible. Repeating data back may be particularly important for some people to know that you listened, but it is rarely where you will find what needs to be reflected for a person to feel "understood."

The feelings layer surfaces emotions, which may be expressed directly by feeling words; beware, people tend to use the expression "I feel" followed by words that are not emotions. (see feelings list below under "read more"). Often, feelings can be "heard" in other ways. Tone, pitch, pace may offer clues about someone's emotions. Body language, including if a person leans forward (engaged) or sits back stiffly with arms folded (closed), may reveal a person's feelings.

The needs/interests layer surfaces what is really going on. Here, I am listening for core needs/values. (see needs list below under read more) as well as unspoken concerns and underlying interests. The negotiation classic Getting to Yes introduced the concept to "focus on interests, not positions." People say they want X (position), but it's because they need Y (interest). There may be other ways to achieve Y, but all they may say is "we want X."

A classic example of this is Tim and Tory, two siblings, fighting over the last orange in the kitchen. One parent says, "Stop fighting, we'll split it and you each get half." Both kids start to cry. The other parent asks why Tim wants the orange? "I need the peel for a cake I'm baking." Then asks Tory why she wants the orange? "I just got back from soccer and I'm starving."

When I listen for interests, I am listening past what is said explicitly to understand what the person's real concerns and needs are. When I am not sure, I'll test my assumptions, ask stupid questions, and probe gently to uncover the person's underlying interests.

Finally, while it may not always come up, when it does, the identity layer is the deep part of the iceberg that could sink the ship, or conversation, in this case. Our identity is the essence of who we are and how we understand ourselves in the world. Addressing someone's identity that may be threatened in a conversation is critical for people to feel understood and safe. When a person's identity is threatened, they may respond with very strong emotions. Identity may surface as being a good person, a good friend (family: mother/father, daughter/son, brother/sister), a good worker (coworker, employee, boss), a good ____ (doctor, plumber, designer) ... Tip: Identity issues may be triggered around how people to relate to the topics addressed in Habit 5.

Reflecting Understanding

Once you hear layers, you need to reflect back your understanding. Here are some suggested methods; different techniques that can be applied to each layer.

Tip for reflecting emotions: It can be jarring to have someone "tell" you how you feel, so I find it's better to use a direct quote, e.g. "You said you feel 'quote word'." Mirroring the exact emotion word often helps a person to feel heard because we often have subtly different connotations with words. Note: Paraphrasing emotions when repeating back may result in a person feeling not heard. Especially if a paraphrase/reframed emotion word is perceived to diminish its intensity.

Tip for reflecting values/needs/interests: It may be helpful to frame it as a question, e.g. "It sounds like Y is really important to you?" or "I wonder if you need Y? " This extra space allows the other person to determine whether or not, you've heard what they are saying.

In Action

So, how exactly does this work? After the workshop, a Fellow came up and said, "I am a developer- really rationale and my mom is really irrational, err, emotional. I would like to have a better relationship with her but we just aren't able to communicate. I think that what you presented could really help me- what books should I read to learn more about this?"

I paused, "That's a great question. But actually, from your participation, I think you have a good handle on the information so I'm skeptical that more knowledge is what you need, I suspect the most important thing you can do is practice. Let's start with an example. Suppose your mom comes home and finds that no one has emptied the dishwasher and explodes in a highly emotional way. You can't relate to that intensity of emotion; it's completely irrational and dialogue seems impossible. Is that a fair hypothetical?" "Sure."

"OK, so let's start with the tools we discussed when your mom reacts at you in a highly emotional way. Normally, you would judge it as irrational and dismiss her emotional response. But now, you've started to meditate and realize that you have a choice in your reaction. [Habit 1]

You pause your response long enough to listen to what's happening for you. [Habit 2] When you hear your mom speak with extreme emotional intensity and the words: "no one unloaded the dishwasher," how do you feel? ... You can study the feeling list to come up with words. Let's imagine that you feel scared, because her response seems out of calibration with the situation and your need for congruity and to understand are challenged by the dissonance she's expressed. Perhaps you feel mad at yourself because you value participating in the household and you want to support your Mom but you didn't notice the dishwasher needed to be emptied... In that moment, you could give yourself support-- as an adult, you know that you are OK even if someone is yelling at you and you know that you are a good son and you do contribute to the household even if you missed this opportunity to pitch in. Now that you listened to yourself and addressed your needs first, you realize that you are OK, and now you are ready to show up to fully listen to her."

"So, you stop and listen to her by acknowledging what she's saying, 'Mom, no one helped you by putting the dishes away, I can understand that would be really frustrating.' Incidentally, she might look at you in shock if you've never responded this way to her before. Then you might say, 'How was your day?' or 'How does that make you feel?'

Remember, you are listening to understand the layers of what is going on for her. The data that you have is that the dishwasher wasn't emptied, the intense emotional response indicates that this set off something deeper-- is it that she doesn't feel appreciated? Maybe that she doesn't feel supported? Maybe a stranger was rude to her and she's feeling the compounded effect of disrespect? Look at the needs list (under Read More) and listen to understand what she needs in that moment.

You want to learn what is the underlying interest behind the dishwasher getting emptied- what does it "signify" to her- chances are it isn't about the dishes. Then you want to acknowledge all the layers so that she feels heard and understood. 'Mom, I understand that you've had a tough day and coming home to find that no one pitched in to help put the dishes away was frustrating. I guess it might feel like no one supports you around the house, especially that no one noticed or thought to check the dishwasher.' Then you want to acknowledge whatever the deeper layers are for her that you've uncovered." [Habit 3]

Most of all, I suggest that you practice this with your colleagues. Practice the Empathy Poker exercise with people whenever you can. It's a muscle and you need to build it. It is best to practice in lower stakes situations so that you are ready in a high stakes encounter, such as family who are the best at triggering us. These habits are skills and being able to use them artfully is all about practice."

Practice: Empathy Poker
To make your own cards, see the Feelings/Needs Lists under Read More below.

Resources/References

1. Peace in Every Step, Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh
2. Wherever you go, there you are, Jon Kabat Zinn
3. Non Violent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg
4. Empathic Listening (Introduced at Steve Rosenberg's Mediation Training)
5. Getting to Yes, Robert Fisher and William Ury.
6. Difficult Conversations, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen.

Post 1 [Habit 1, 2, 3] | Post 2 [Habit 4, 5] | Post 3 [Habit 6, 7]

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Love: Paying Attention to Our Neighbors and the Weakest Among Us

14/2/2014

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This beautiful love story about a math teacher using social network analysis to detect disconnection in the classroom reminded me of my 5th/6th grade French teacher, Madame Maker, who had a fierce, urgent love for us- her students.

On the first day of class, we learned that the person sitting next to us would be our vocabulary partner. And to our surprise, our vocabulary grade would be the lower of the pair, because "we have a responsibility to look out for the weakest among us." Her indignation at poor French grammar rivaled the heated jeers of sports enthusiasts in a tense game. "Pas DE" echoes in my memory whenever I think of her. Yet this fierceness was love-- you could see by the same decibel of JOY she shared with each of her students' successes. When you received 5 As (or 5 consecutive improved grades for those of us who were not straight A students but tried hard), you would get a choice between a homemade strawberry pie or a special chocolate orange from France. Both were highly coveted rewards, because she was TOUGH. Achievement in Mme Maker's class was REAL success.

Though feared by many- for me, she was a beloved teacher who cared about us enough to build our character, not only our vocabulary. Her urgency came from living through WWII as part of the French Resistance in Paris. She risked her life as a teenager to save the lives of others. Her fierce love was often misunderstood. As privileged children removed from war, we could not imagine what it means to experience social fabric disintegrate. She had lived through and seen unspeakable horrors yet she inspired us with tales of narrow escapes. Her name was Peter. (Her parents had wanted a boy. When they discovered she was a girl, they decided to name her Peter anyway.) One day, the Gestapo banged on her door. "Peter, we know you are in there." She was terrified- caught finally. She opened the door. The Nazi officers pushed her aside, "Where is he? Where is PETER?" They turned her apartment upside down looking for "him." Then left admonishing that they knew HE was working with the Resistance and would get him. So her parents saved her life. Her stories always showed how "good" can triumph and how the bad included the indifferent. For her, it was the aggregation of indifference that allowed the unthinkable things to happen in France. That's why she felt such urgency for us to be better humans in the smallest of our actions. Mme Maker taught with passion; she embodied the truth that "a heart once touched by love is incapable of cowardice." (Cesare) Her heroic efforts during WWII modeled courage and continue to inspire me to be vigilant on behalf of the weakest among us.

Her unorthodox methods and passion, ultimately, got her fired only a few years from retirement. It was a battle between wealthy parents on the board protecting their sensitive children versus parents protecting rigorous academics and a dedicated teacher under threat of being fired just a few years before retirement. My first encounter in the school of life that with wealth comes great power and that grown ups do things from self-interest rather than what may be better for the collective. My parents along with a few others fought the school on her behalf. They lost the battle. Fearing that I would suffer retaliation due to their antagonistic stance against faculty leaders, I transferred to a new school for 7th/8th grade leaving behind my friends of 6+ years. The irony is not lost that the teacher who taught me to pay attention to the weakest among us is the person with whom I first learned there can be a human cost of standing with the weak. Fortunately, my new school was outstanding. New friends came easily. I discovered my resilience and adaptability. Most of all, I learned how to use power and privilege to stand with people who are vulnerable. I would do it again-- and continue to whenever I see an opportunity.

What the world needs today is courage, may love flow from your every step. A shout out for all the teachers whose love shapes us!

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Visionaries & Revolutionaries at the Dissident Futures Exhibit at YBCA

21/1/2014

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Recently, I had the opportunity to join an inspired group convened by visionary Bobby Fishkin to plan
Visionaries & Revolutionaries Day (Saturday, Jan 25) on the closing weekend of the Dissident Futures Exhibit at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco.

We generated 100++ ideas in a brainstorm. Refined these into an action packed schedule including scenario planning, climate change meme healing, mapping collages, vision boards, building utopias, a revolution booth, a hold up, performances and more!

If you can't join in person, you can follow our tumblr of digital artifacts from V&R Day at Dissident Futures at YBCA.

A call to Visionaries, Revolutionaries & Dissident Futurists
Please join us at Dissident Futures at YBCA on Saturday, Jan 25

12:00 Kickoff

“Make your mark, share your vision-- the start a revolution booth” led by Kyle Stewart & Kate Michi Ettinger [Lobby 12 - 6]

Utopias: Lost & Found: Co-create the future of Utopias Lost and Found. Collaboratively create the future of society in the lobby of the YCBA. Use your imagination build your Utopia and watch your vision change between entering the show and exiting the building.

Share your vision-- start a revolution: Share your vision for humanity and the revolution that will help us get there. In < 5 minutes create and publish your story, share it and find co-conspirators to ignite your revolution

“Break-down Barriers to Break-Out Your Revolution” Booth led by Tara Samiy, Marlena Zahm and Amanda Leitner

Drop in to create vision boards from 12 - 2 in Conf 1

1:00

“Stories of the Future-- a scenario-planning workshop” led by Lina Constantinovici

2 Hr Workshop in YAAW that will develop vignettes for the 4:30 finale performance

“Hold up for CauseRoot: part of Worldwide Hold Up Day” led by Chris Geraghty & MakeSense Gangsters

2 hr Workshop in Conf 1 ... More Details: FB Event for the CauseRoot Hold Up

2:00

“Cut and paste your future: a collage” led by Bobby Fishkin & Maya Belitski

Drop into to collage a map of your future from 2-4ish

3:00

“Climate Change Meme Healing” led by Lazlo Karafiath (90 minutes)

“Cut and paste your future: a collage” led by Bobby Fishkin & Maya Belitski (Ongoing drop in 2 - 4:30)

4:00

YBCA special performance by Myra Melford and Ian Winters in the Galleries 4-5pm

4:30 Finale Performance: Visions of the Future in the Screening Room

The day's public V&R activities will conclude with a performance of Visions of the Future, produced by Lina Constantinovici
Followed by a tour of YBCA

Hashtag for the day: #V&RFutures
Follow our Tumblr for digital artifacts: vratybca.tumblr.com

You may RSVP on our FB event, or message an organizer to join the V&R guest list! Please bring co-conspirator friends!

This public program is organized in conjunction with the group exhibition Dissident Futures which is currently on view at YBCA until February 2, 2014. Dissident Futures is an investigation into possible alternative futures, particularly those that question or overturn conventional notions of innovation in biological, social, environmental, and technological structures.

Visionaries and Revolutionaries is a creative community with members representing a diversity of disciplines, who come together to share the ways in which they solve social problems that they care about in imaginative ways. Through this series, social innovators can explore the intersection of their aspirations for world change and learn from each other's diverse backgrounds in art, science, and technology.

Schedule Confirmed. For details on the workshops click on Read More.

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Creating an Aichaku Gift for 40 Days of Joy {prototype}

19/1/2014

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Last January, the effervescent writer and life coach MeiMei Fox published 40 Days of Joy: A Happiness Practice on her inspiring HuffPo blog: The Life Out Loud. The post went viral as people took up the challenge to cultivate joy in everyday life sharing their adventures on Twitter with #40daysofjoy Inspired by the idea and reminded of the wisdom that a great year is made up of great days, I decided to make a gift to share the 40 Days of Joy practice with a friend. I realized that forwarding the post wouldn't be enough to prompt action, so I decided to prototype a gift for 40 Day of Joy. Here's the what/how/why.

Step 1: Find small cards for prompts. I used these "word cards" that come on a binder clip because they already have a hole punched. Alternatively a craft hole punch could add a fun touch or cutting paper squares could work as well. I wanted a sturdier paper and the word cards thickness was ideal.

Step 2: Determine the prompts. I worked from MeiMei's original post and interspersed a few of my own joy prompt ideas. I also made a stash of extras just in case the prompt of the day didn't sit well with my friend. Any action is better than no action when cultivating a new habit.

The most challenging part of this project was figuring out how to make it "aichaku" (a "love fit" as the brilliant John Maeda explained beautifully in this post), so that participating daily in this practice is easy and enticing. I wanted to design a beautiful and joyful experience - a ritual action with positive reinforcement and visual feedback so that one wants to do it again and again. All too often we start these feel good practices, yet they fall by the wayside amidst our busy lives and other pressures.

Step 3: Decide on the means of the daily prompt.

I found these little clasps with colorful strings and attached one clasp to each prompt card to be pulled off a hook one day at a time, then placed in a jar of joy. I used a simple glass jar for all the finished prompts. Since it's clear, it can be a decorative reminder of the joys cultivated and may also serve as a repository for beginning a new 40 day journey.

Another alternative idea was to cut a small cork board canvas to sit on a miniature easel. Each day, one pulls a card from a pile, then pins it onto the cork board with colorful pins. I suggest to see what you find around to repurpose or what you discover when you go to the store. Think about what would engage the recipient most- if they are avid on twitter or facebook, perhaps inviting them to share their joys prompts or activities with the #40daysofjoy community. I am curious what other ways you hack this gift to meet the recipient's rhythm, so please comment and let me know what you do.

Time will tell if the design works as a love fit for this friend. Today is Day 1 and I've already heard the first joy prompt is "skip" and the first step to any practice is to begin...

Wish you joy and a skip in your step!

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2013: A look back on an epic year!

7/1/2014

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One of my favorite practices is to begin the year with a reflection on the big moments of the past year - sights seen, people met, things accomplished, lessons learned. 2013 was a team year, so it is fitting for this to be a public celebration.

The epic moments of 2013 began when my friends Olga Reimgen and Stan Bugaev, co-founders of Epiclist, invited me to beta test their app. Epiclist captured adventures that I had completed, put cool pictures with it and pushed me to articulate things that I wanted to do. While it was easy for me to catalogue epic things that have happened, I had to think hard about what to put on a "want list". Would I dare to claim these epic dreams? I did and much to my delight- 2013 saw 7 of them realized!

Visit the continent of Africa (1st first time)
Field work accompanying community health workers in townships in rural S Africa.
Safari in the Okavanga Delta. (check out my animals of Botswana video).
Climb Table Mountain, Cape Town, S Africa.
I joined the advisory board of a start up health tech social enterprise, dotHIV.
I gave a TEDx: Integrity by Design as part of TEDxChange: Positive Disruption in Global Health in Barcelona.
Launch a project, which I did with OpenQRS

It was EPIC!

FYI: Epiclist an app to help you realize epic outdoor adventure dreams will be released in the iTunes store this week! Congratulations Olga, Stan and Epiclist team!

2013 - An Epic Year in Review, a few of the highlights...

January

8 year old Becky took the stage at Human Warming and rocked a performance of We are Young by Fun. She set the crowd on fire and the tone for the year!

The year kicked off with friends Ben Moskowitz, Shannon Spanhake, Tony Lai, Gardner & the Hive hosting Human Warming. A musical startup weekend that brought entrepreneurs and musicians together to invent start up ideas, write pitch songs and perform a pitch-song concert. Rich inter-disciplinary creative collaboration and much fun was had by all! "One Jetpack Per Child" was a crowd favorite though Becky (left) stole the show!

Human Warming - the musical startup weekend

In January, my passion project the Hapa-Hafu Kitchen Project published the HKP blog. With 2 hapas, 2 hafus, 6 passports, 10 countries of residence between the three of us, fusion fun in the kitchen was delight-filled! Beginning in 2010, we met irregularly, experimented wildly and ate decadently. Along the way, we were hosted by culinary artist Diana To, Star Anise Foods founder Karen Cheng, and Quisting's Kitchen Christine Fong. Our team learned that we prefer cooking to blogging, but we buckled down to document out culinary adventures because Reika Goh, one of our core HKP team, returned to Singapore this year. Since cooking together won't be possible, we may cook something up digitally over at Global Culture Kids... stay tuned!

February - March

At Startup Weekend Transmedia organized by transmedia talent Alice Gillet, I joined the team of social innovator Shauna Nep from LA2050. In 54 hours, our rockstar team, including Brooke Estin and Michael J Coren, built an app to enable citizens to share visions for LA in 2050 on multiple media platforms. To inform the design, we got out onto the streets of San Francisco to interview people about the city and to learn about engaging people to share their visions for the future. Our app won an Audience Award!

First time in Africa!!

Walking on rounds with community health workers in rural S Africa

Touching down for the first time on the continent of Africa was EPIC! Graciously hosted by Future Sharp founder and dynamo Irma Wilson in Joberg, collaborator Walter Karlen in Stellenbosch, and social entrepreneurs Arnaud Blanchet and Cecile Pompei in Cape Town, I fell in love with Southern Africa!

Unforgettable Moment: A full circle rainbow while looking at Victoria Falls from the Zimbabwe-Zambia border bridge. It was so big the camera couldn't get it in one shot - poorly stitched together here... trust me, it was incredible!

Fun Memory: My friend's daughter invited me to join her 7th birthday party at the Cradle of Humanity in South Africa.

Back to Berlin....

I couldn't come all the way to Africa without a little safari... the nature was EPIC, adventures with fellow travelers priceless and kept safe thanks to wonderful guides, especially Roan Claase of Elephant Sands.

Animals of Southern Africa from Kate Ettinger on Vimeo.

From 39C in Botswana to -6C in Berlin, it was complete temperature-culture shock, but an absolute thrill to return to my beloved Berlin to kick off dotHIV's ethics-infused policy advisory board. dotHIV is a pioneer. The only social purpose enterprise in the top level domain (TLD) market (TLDs are .com, .org, .edu). dotHIV will sell websites that end in .hiv - as a digital red ribbon; funds will create a foundation to support grassroots and technology-centric HIV/AIDS initiatives. For awhile, I have held the question whether there is a lateral application of my bioethics expertise in decision support that applies to social entrepreneurs navigating uncertainty and negotiating values conflicts at the intersection of money and meaning. Carolin Silbernagl, the passionate and visionary co-founder of dotHIV said, absolutely! Together we designed the scope, roles and function for the policy advisory board and its commitment to create a roadmap for other social purpose ventures that seek to enter this market. Carolin engaged an outstanding advisory board including Patrick Ryan, Megan Yip, Joan Irvine, Pavel Richter, Laurindo Garcia (not pictured: Michael Bouldin, Philip Grabensee). Thanks to the dotHIV team and advisory board for an epic beginning!

Advisory Board Kick-off Meeting for dotHIV, a Berlin-based pioneer health-tech social enterprise

April

On April 1st, I was in Berlin with a raging fever and no voice; I wondered whether I would make it Barcelona for TEDxBarcelonaChange in 2 days. Fortunately, it never occurred to me that I had recently been in Africa and should probably go to a hospital. Instead I thought I can't let the effervescent, social impact powerhouse Aurelie Salvaire down and figured that as an eternal optimist, she would think it was an April Fools Joke anyway. So, I focused on getting better and .... voila!

My first TEDx: Integrity by Design at TEDxBarcelonaChange

My first TEDx: Integrity by Design - exhilarating 10 minutes! Grateful to the people who made this possible Aurelie Salvaire (organizer), Soledad Pons (suggested me), Brooke Estin (visual communication designer), Florian Mueck (speaker coach), Daniel Hires (coach), Walter Karlen (collaborator & first follower on the idea), Helene Finidori (host) & thanks to so many more for this team effort - FTW!

May - June- July - August

This summer, I had the chance to work on an exciting research project for the Goldhirsh Foundation with social innovation visionary and impact rockstar Tara Nell Roth and social media diva Shauna Nep. Working with highly driven and high performing teams is an exceptional privilege-- especially when the focus is on building better futures. I also met up with makers, nomadic developrs, and 3D printing designers with inspiring projects to create change in the world! And most importantly, I had great times with family and old friends.

Springtime in NY...the love affair begins anew

Old Pomfret roomie Amy Veek visits SF!

With the nomadic programmers of Nukomeet at MakerFaireSF

Family time with my aunts

Hold Up for Ashley Dara's project using 3D printers to make medical devices as a way to teach design/innovation in Haiti. Animated by Romain Nervil and Making Society blogger Mathilde Berchon

Mom and Dad celebrated their 70 & 75th this year! Family weekend in NYC included a High Line visit.

Wonderful Moment: Seeing Hafu - the story of mixed-Japanese people in Japan on the big screen in New York City- a labor of love 4 years in the making by my friend and peace catalyst, Megumi Nishikura. Megumi's courage and dedication to realize this vision to tell her story- our collective story- and to build bridges of hope and understanding is an inspiration.

Family Moment: Participating as one of 3 generations of Sanmiyas tree climbing on Manitoulin Island. Thanks to my cousin, Toby Sanmiya for taking us to new heights. You can climb with him next time you're in British Columbia, check out Elementree. Lesson: Together we can reach new heights, and it helps to have an experienced guide.

September

September 21st is International Peace Day. This year, I was in NYC for TEDxUNPlaza and the Mashable Social Good Summit. In addition to a week of intellectual stimulation meeting brilliant people and inspirational projects, I had a chance to celebrate with old friends, new friends, and some surprise encounters- all around epic fun!

October

Epic Moment: Our project, OpenQRS, was selected as one of 39 projects from 650 to be semi-finalists for the Knight News Challenge: Health. With the launch of OpenQRS- the idea of my TEDx: Integrity by Design turned into an open project. Thanks to everyone for your support - we rocked audience engagement on the Knight platform!

Special shout out to our amazing team on this proposal: Laura Thierry (visual communication designer), Maite Hernandez Zubeldia (first follower catalyst and operations), Julian Muresianu and Nukomeet on (tech development), Walter Karlen (device adviser), Marigo Raftopoulos and Ben Stokes on game design, Indy Johar and Rachel de Sain (enterprise advisers).

OpenQRS in 30 Seconds from Kate Ettinger on Vimeo.

November

A month of firsts:

First time to Singapore!
First time to Hong Kong!
First mother-daughter vacation!
My first MakeSense SenseCamp and Hold Up in Asia! MakeSense is a global network passionate to support social entrepreneurs solve challenges. I participated in Hold Ups on 4 continents this year, the MakeSense impact is truly global!

ComCrop- social enterprise with the 1st rooftop aquaponics garden- tour part of SenseCamp Singapore sponsored by MakeSense

Touring Singapore Botanical Garden with Bian Tan, one of my first "bosses"- a taxonimist who hired me as an intern at SF Botanical Garden when I was a pre-med botany student.

Old friends, new friends - these joyful gardeners of peace invited me to a lovely dinner in Singapore!

Special Mother-Daughter trip for Mom's 70th birthday in Singapore with Satsuki and the Goh family and in Hong Kong with Yuko Campbell. A trip to Haji Lane thanks to rec by the lovely, inspiring b-change founder, Laurindo Garcia.

December

December brought the chance to move forward by standing still. Sometimes in the rush of goal setting and pushing to make things happen, it seems an anomalous approach to set the course forward by just being where you are. The decision to respond to the "what's next" question with "I'm standing still to figure that out" was met with a surprising amount of support from my social entrepreneur peers. Entrepreneurs live in uncertainty and the normal response is to do, learn and iterate through the unknowns. This December, I opted to resist that constant pressure to move forward- show your drive, set goals, tick off to do lists, and execute by creating space to stand still. It's counter cultural yet I find that it is a powerful practice that yields great rewards. Inspired by a visit from my friend Jan Stewart, who is the founder of the School of Space and was in SF for the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute course, I was reminded about this intentional stopping to sit in the messiness of the unknown. It afforded me time to catch up with mentors and to stumble on serendipitous encounters that set a beacon for what lies ahead... TBC!

holiday gifts of
surprise beach walks with
superheroes

Spectacular Morning: Seeing a pod of dolphins in San Francisco! My first visit to Fort Funston for a walking meeting. Many thanks to the delightful and multi-talented Eugene Kim for capturing the dolphins on this beautiful morning and creating this perfect parting shot for 2013. (Click here to zoom in) Shared by Eugene Eric Kim under a CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

2013 was a team year and represented an ideal balance of work that draws on my strengths yet stretches my potential, collaborations that made an impact, and adventures in living well and spending time people who inspire me to be my best. I am grateful for and humbled by the all star team that surrounds me personally and professionally.

Thank you for your support, for keeping it real and for making life and work a joy!

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<<Previous

A year to touch the truths found in life,

Step with peace in our hearts,

Show up with the courage to expand our limits,

Play in nature

Greet strangers with the warmth of old friends

Take digital sabbaticals

Share vulnerability to deepen trust

Show grace in moments of life as it is

Discover magic in the ordinary folds of daily living

Invite surprises

Make time for people not phones, Spend time with old friends

Embrace differences to claim the strengths of wholeness

Lead with love

Flourish in all that is yet to be.

Thanks to all for weaving into the tapestry of my memories this year!

Lean Workout: A Prototype

Why A Lean Workout?

Our Lean Workout

Ongoing Practice: Lean Workouts

Key Learnings from our Lean Workout Process:

Lean Learnings:

Acknowledgements/Resources

Kate's take on how it began:

Reika's on How It Began:

Finding the Date and the People:

Habit 6: Speaking in order to be Heard

Speaking in order to be Heard

Trigger

Status

Response

Strategy to be Heard

Certainty

Autonomy

Relatedness

Fairness

Navigating an Ask

Responding to Requests

In Action

Habit 7: [Your Own Habit]

References/Resources

Post 1 [Habit 1, 2, 3] | Post 2 [Habit 4, 5] | Post 3 [Habit 6, 7]

Habit 4: Know Oneself

Cultivating Cultural Humility

Identifying Points of Variation around Common Subjects: The Continua of Conflict

Habit 5: Communicate Across Differences

References/Resources

Post 1 [Habit 1, 2, 3] | Post 2 [Habit 4, 5] | Post 3 [Habit 6, 7]

Habit 1: Meditate

Habit 2: Listening to Oneself

Habit 3: Listening to Understand Layers

Listening for Layers

Reflecting Understanding

In Action

Practice: Empathy Poker To make your own cards, see the Feelings/Needs Lists under Read More below.

Resources/References

Post 1 [Habit 1, 2, 3] | Post 2 [Habit 4, 5] | Post 3 [Habit 6, 7]

A call to Visionaries, Revolutionaries & Dissident FuturistsPlease join us at Dissident Futures at YBCA on Saturday, Jan 25

2013 - An Epic Year in Review, a few of the highlights...

January

February - March

Back to Berlin....

April

May - June- July - August

October

November

December

part of Kate's Mural

Archives

Practice: Empathy Poker
To make your own cards, see the Feelings/Needs Lists under Read More below.

A call to Visionaries, Revolutionaries & Dissident Futurists
Please join us at Dissident Futures at YBCA on Saturday, Jan 25